“I don’t think it’s the people I would usually surround myself with, but I feel like being here will do me good.”
And it did. In a way it felt like I had to put myself in an environment that’s completely different from what I know and am used to, in order to find the strong, happy version of myself again that I love so much. And I had to do it alone, otherwise there would always be some of the “known” to hold on to. So I arrived at the farm 3 weeks ago. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I’m used to rather clean bathrooms. Well, the first impression was very much the opposite. My room was dark and that’s not where I wanted to stay so I decided to head to the kitchen and cook something for dinner, where Adri was preparing pizza dough for next day’s lunch. And that’s when my journey began… Later, Mathi told me how much that first dinner together had changed for her. She had arrived one week prior to me, during which they had hardly shared any dinners. Also Adri had rather kept to the personal space of his yurt before. After that first dinner, we shared many more in the weeks to come.
Every now and then during my time at the farm, I took the bird’s perspective and it happens that it can make me feel like an “intrus” from time to time. As if “my real identity” would be revealed any second now, showing me that I don’t belong here.
It’s the moments when I realize my counterpart’s close-to-none financial security, difficult family history or past experiences with drugs. It’s when I sit outside reading a book about how to have difficult conversations on topics like sexism, racism and social injustice while Adri is playing the guitar. It’s when we’re all sitting in Mathi’s bedroom listening to her reading the short stories she has written, dealing with exactly those kind of topics. It’s collecting wooden sticks by the lake, making a bonfire and listening to Adri sing and play. There’s always one point during these moments when I’m really aware of where I am coming from and part of me still finds it strange to be there instead of being on the professional career path linked to materialistic happiness that had so carefully been laid out for me and so many others.
At that point, I always switch to the bird’s perspective. And what does the bird tell me? You look like a hippie. And honestly, what’s wrong with that? There’s many positive attributes that I appreciate about “looking like a hippie” – it’s the calm, happy side that is able to cherish trivial things and genuinely enjoy the moment – attributes most of us used to know as children and have lost ever since. It’s also these moments during which I realize how peaceful and genuinely satisfied I feel to be living this life. To have chosen a life that fills me with joy everyday instead of waiting for the weekend, holidays or even retirement. A life that simply feels like the right thing to do.
And yes, it might make me feel like an “intrus” or a “hippie” every once in a while. But honestly, I would have never met Mathi and Adri in a corporate setting and meeting them sparked so much “joie de vivre” within me. And isn’t that what life should be about? Enjoying it? Not only on the weekends, not once you’re retired. Now. The social bonds created during these 3 weeks ended up being worth so much more than everything I could have learned about winter market gardening. Because there’s an important social layer to a sustainable way of life – growing the most colourful veggies full of taste only for yourself just isn’t the same as sharing them in good company. And if it makes us look like hippies. So what? At least we’re hippies with a purpose.
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